People tend to have a misconstrued definition of success. We love to say things like:
- “I’ll be successful once I find a career related to my passion.”
- “I’ll be a success when I make my first million dollars.”
- “I’ll be a success when I find the love of my life.”
Notice something about these platitudes? They look at success as a destination — a place we can all reach and prance around with our success forever after learning THE PLAN for how to be successful. Yay!
Well, I got news for you: NO YOU WON’T!!!
The truth is success isn’t a goal or destination — it’s a MINDSET you take on to achieve your goals. And like all other mindsets, you don’t just drop it once you achieve your goals. Instead, you adopt it so you can carry it with you forever.
And I’ll be honest: Success isn’t an easy feat to accomplish.
It’s human nature to look for the quick fixes and get-rich-quick schemes — even though those methods are often temporary and incredibly ineffective.
Our brain wants to use the path of least resistance. If we really want to learn how to be successful, though, we have to go against our nature and challenge the three mental barriers that knock us off course:
- Chasing “magic bullets”
- Fearing failure
- Letting guilt control you
Only by breaking past these mental walls, can we truly become successful in life.
That’s why I want to help you rewire how you think about success and help you break down these barriers once and for all.
Success barrier #1: Chasing “magic bullets”
A magic bullet is the “ONE THING you NEED to become successful.”
We’ve seen them all before in weight loss commercials, cologne ads, and late-night infomercials. That’s because marketers know how powerful magic bullets can be.
That’s why we’re constantly bombarded with internet ads like, “THIS MAN LOST 50 LBS IN AN HOUR. FITNESS EXPERTS HATE HIM!!!”
We also see magic bullets outside of advertising too. Take Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for example.
BTW, this is just The Rock warming up.
Comments and responses to a picture like this typically sound like this, “Omg you look so swole! What’s your secret? What brand of protein shake do you drink? Tell me your secrets, PLEASE.”
When the fact of the matter is that The Rock doesn’t have a “secret” to his muscles. Hell, he’s even released his full diet and exercise regimen online and has gone on record saying he doesn’t use steroids.
When people find out what he eats and the exercises he does, the reactions typically sound like this:
- “You eat 6,000 calories a day and 10 pounds of food!? Impossible!”
- “821 pounds of cod a year? And steamed, not fish sticks? No thank you.”
- “That’s ridiculous to work out 4 hours a day. How do you expect me to do that!?”
- “Stop lying to everyone. We ALL know you do steroids.”
If they really wanted to be as big as The Rock, they’d work as hard as him too.
But these people don’t want to deal with the fact that he looks the way he does because his diet and workout are INSANE. They don’t want to put in the work — they hear how he is successful at working out and immediately start looking for a shortcut.
That’s why they’d rather find out his brand of protein shake or the workout gloves he uses — it offers an easy (and utterly wrong) way to find success.
Whether you’re trying to start a business, find a job, or improve your fitness…MAGIC BULLETS DON’T EXIST.
Success barrier #2: Fearing failure more than craving success
Fear of failure is a very real and incredibly debilitating barrier holding a lot of us back from winning.
For example:
- We don’t apply for that job because we’re sure there’s “no way” we can get it.
- We don’t talk to that cute girl or guy because we think they’re “way out of our league.”
- We don’t take that course that could potentially change our lives because we think “what if it doesn’t work for me?”
And I don’t blame anyone for it — I’ve felt the very same fears myself before.
If there’s one thing you should take away from what Gadson Timothy said, it’s this: Fear of failure happens when you live in the future rather than the present.
That’s why adopting a mindset of themes helps fight that fear.
Rather than aiming to “earn a million dollars,” you should set a theme in your life like, “I want to add more value everywhere I can.” Once you do that, you stop fearing failure and start embracing the moment.
To that end, we should then frame any “failure” you do encounter as a source of feedback and an avenue to succeed the next time you try. Failure is NOT a reason to give something up.
Success barrier #3: Letting guilt control you
It’s interesting how people fall into the paradox of guilt — and don’t even realize it’s happening.
After all, how often have you talked to a friend about working out, saving money, or studying for school and heard them say something like, “Yeah, I know I really should be doing that but…” followed by some lame-brained excuse as to why they’re putting off their self-development?
“I know I really should be doing that” is just code for “I’m not going to do that at all.”
It’s the same with people in credit card debt — many don’t even know how much debt they have! They’d rather avoid their statements and bury their head in the sand than face the reality of how much they owe.
Which is why I want to make it clear that when I say you should be honest with yourself and hold yourself accountable, I DON’T mean “feel incredibly guilty for the things you’re not doing.”
And when you DO feel guilty, don’t run away from it. Instead, follow these four steps to overcome it.
Step 1: Acknowledge the guilt.
When you realize that you feel guilty about something — like not hitting the gym or saving up for retirement — I want you to just take a moment and acknowledge the feeling. Recognize your guilt and ask yourself what is making you feel guilty. That leads us to…
Step 2: Use the “five whys” technique.
This technique comes from a Japanese industrialist named Sakichi Toyoda. He developed the method in order to find solutions at the root of recurring issues related to his manufacturing plant and helped blow up his company into a household name — you might have heard of it: Toyota Motors.
At the heart of the technique is the question “why?” The idea is that most all problems can be solved by asking “why” five times — sometimes even less — and getting to the root issue.
Say you feel guilty because you’ve been meaning to open an investment account but haven’t. You can utilize the technique like this:
Why do I feel guilty?
Because I haven’t opened an investment account.
Why haven’t I opened an investment account?
Because I don’t even know where to start.
Why is that?
Because I bought an investment book years ago and haven’t read it yet.
Why haven’t I read it?
Because it’s in a box in my basement underneath the Christmas decorations.
See what happened? In less than 5 whys, we figured out how to begin solving this HUGE issue with just one step: taking the time to find a book. Now this person knows the first step to getting started with his investments.
Step 3: Write it all down.
Take everything from steps 1 and 2 and write it all down — your guilt, each of the whys you asked, and how you can solve everything. This will help you get a clear understanding of how your mind works when it comes to guilt and problem solving.
It will also give you a good place to go back to when you decide to finally solve the problem — which brings us to…
Step 4: Take action…tomorrow.
That’s right. Once you write everything down, I want you to step back and give it some space.
Because we’re HUMANS — and as humans we are naturally cognitive misers and have limited willpower. Just doing the five whys and investigating your guilt takes a lot — so just pick it up later when you’re fresh and ready to take action. I suggest setting aside some time in a day or two so you don’t keep pushing it off.
Once you recognize and tackle these barriers, it’s time to follow…
How to succeed in life: The roadmap
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